look at me now

well, don't, as i won't supply a (recent) picture, but i have pictures on myspace.com/joshuacc and you can look at them and maybe you'll notice there that the love of my life has defriended me because i am incapable of doing what needs to be done. i do lots of other things, and while none of them are overtly bad, very few of them are actually good, and that's just not good enough. anyway the only real bad results come from inaction.

there are some good ones out there. things. that i do. they just don't seem to leave near as much of an impression as the things i don't do.

also out there are the things i don't say, which are interpreted from the things i do say, and invariably lead to trouble as they are misconstrued interpolations and that's not fair for any of us.

traffic in the truth.

and if you believe there's a hidden meaning, ask if it's the case.

i'm gonna build a bridge to the future and keep it in a lockbox and ultimately be emboldened.

more may episodes to come this week.

you will enjoy these things.

i will merely wish other things.

and now, in business news, i will not be going to south africa tomorrow for a "secret and amazing project." nor will i friday be off to detroit crack-rock-city to film the dead and their avengers. i will instead be traveling to canada next tuesday to film the 8-week process of my friend and i turning boys into men by way of a road trip and some challenges that may be better referred to as opportunities and we will break them and make them whole again and stronger than before - much like my surgically repaired knee...



and then it is mid-september and i will either set off on one of my passion projects traveling around the world filming masters of all stripes, or i will resettle into my doldrums, but at the very least i will no longer allow myself live in my nightmarish house with my coughing grunting stomping door-slamming roommate. maybe i'll even see more dead people. who knows? i kind of miss the action.

but not as much as i miss my hope for the future due to how i may have ruined any chance i have of being with my love.



i am a sad fuck.

but, at least may is funny. you can enjoy that maybe this week.

i will try to enjoy something also.

sorry i'm such a bummer.