a job ain't nothin' but work

i start in the morning.

it will be my first job that has an indefinite duration.

i will be a writer.

i AM a writer.

i am also far too fragile to work full time.

danger.

legal ease

anyone know a good contract/entertainment lawyer who hearts pro bono work?

hook a totally legit dude up.

i'm on the most blown-out sleep schedule ever.

and i have work to do.

and i need a job.

i may have one.

i may not.

no one's talking.

and i'm not allowed to - you know, non-disclosure agreements.

wolfman with crazy-eye

still here.

still sitting around.

the waves are flat, the air is hot, the jobs are elusive, and the fun is hiding somewhere in the smog.

this is los angeles.

really i should be writing, but there's the problem of what.

the canadians have asked if i would like to be considered to replace my friend as director of their film.

i have responded in the affirmative.

maybe that will happen, though i doubt it.

for now i wallow a bit, and think up tiny dream scenarios that are unlikely to materialize. ever.

i'm going to shave off my wolfman beard now and maybe that will help to alter my nyc-ravaged perspective on all things western.

WOLFMAN!
(with crazy-eye)

busted-up in every way

two month job is on the rocks, and i'm out twenty grand.

then there's that other busted-up way.

and then my old band is way radder than when i was in it, and i know some of you people live in portland, so go see them on thursday at rotture.

PONCE DE LEON!!!!
Thursday the 19th
Rotture
pdx

and anyone who lives anywhere near arcata, ca better come out and support the boys on friday the two-oh at jambalaya. what else do you have to do anyway? you live in the middle of nowhere.

so yeah, if anyone has a job offer, it looks like i'm in the market.
i have many and varied skills.

so maybe i'm not making this movie, so what?

the canadians have put a halt to the proceedings. they've issued a moratorium on anything productive until they can agree to contract terms with the director, my friend. they claim to have canceled flights and put holds on wire transfers.

my computer and bank tell me otherwise.

that bit of knowledge aside, i've utilized my best diplomatic skills, which are very very good. i mean incredible. still i've yet to bring the two sides together. it could be a really cool movie. i'd like to make it. more likely it'll be middling. and even if it's slightly good, i'm sure, contract terms aside, that i'll get little or no credit for the creative input i will have offered. probably won't even happen anyway. i'm still holding out hope and will keep working my inherited political skill-set to its utmost.

why do i even care?

i need the money, of course.

speaking of money, mr. production company, good luck getting my advance back if you completely pull the rug out from under us.

plus, i'm supposed to hit the airport in 15 hours. i have checked out all the rental gear. i may just fly up for the miles, shoot something myself, and fly on home.

welcome to my fun and exciting life.

here it comes

i'm about to start a new gig, rolling around the western US with a few crew and 4 canadian do-gooders out to live their dreams and help others live dreamily as well.

we are filming this.

we are making a film of this.

i am the writer/creative consultant or consulting producer/sound mixer?

that's right, twisting the old knobs again, but this time with some power.

i am less than thrilled to be living in an RV for 8 weeks, but these canadians seem great, and i do get paid... and i think we may actually make something really good out of this. inspiring even?

anyway, i hit canadia on tuesday night and then the whirlwind begins - including (gulp) burning man, which i know i recently promised myself and others that i would never attend. i am not interested. at least i get to go to a sandcastle contest too.

i'll be posting shit from the road, so be ready for that.

it'll be about making these boys use their energies to save the world instead of live frivolous rachel mcadams kissing dreams.

if there's a cure for heartbreak, i haven't found it, but being caught up in a whirlwind, last-minute, independent production and being somewhat/significantly responsible for the quality of the plan that makes the movie, well, it's at least distracting.

72 hours from canada.

or, um, canada...

may i suggest...

the end of may. maybe.

maybe there's more.

there is.

but this concludes the saga.

the rest is just basically a series of money shots... which you'll get to see soon.

also soon, you'll get to see my chronicles from the road.

ridiculous shit is brewing hot on the horizon.



"the wheels fell off, the bottom dropped out, the checks all bounced, i came in your mouth... if you could save yourself, you'd save us all."

look at me now

well, don't, as i won't supply a (recent) picture, but i have pictures on myspace.com/joshuacc and you can look at them and maybe you'll notice there that the love of my life has defriended me because i am incapable of doing what needs to be done. i do lots of other things, and while none of them are overtly bad, very few of them are actually good, and that's just not good enough. anyway the only real bad results come from inaction.

there are some good ones out there. things. that i do. they just don't seem to leave near as much of an impression as the things i don't do.

also out there are the things i don't say, which are interpreted from the things i do say, and invariably lead to trouble as they are misconstrued interpolations and that's not fair for any of us.

traffic in the truth.

and if you believe there's a hidden meaning, ask if it's the case.

i'm gonna build a bridge to the future and keep it in a lockbox and ultimately be emboldened.

more may episodes to come this week.

you will enjoy these things.

i will merely wish other things.

and now, in business news, i will not be going to south africa tomorrow for a "secret and amazing project." nor will i friday be off to detroit crack-rock-city to film the dead and their avengers. i will instead be traveling to canada next tuesday to film the 8-week process of my friend and i turning boys into men by way of a road trip and some challenges that may be better referred to as opportunities and we will break them and make them whole again and stronger than before - much like my surgically repaired knee...



and then it is mid-september and i will either set off on one of my passion projects traveling around the world filming masters of all stripes, or i will resettle into my doldrums, but at the very least i will no longer allow myself live in my nightmarish house with my coughing grunting stomping door-slamming roommate. maybe i'll even see more dead people. who knows? i kind of miss the action.

but not as much as i miss my hope for the future due to how i may have ruined any chance i have of being with my love.



i am a sad fuck.

but, at least may is funny. you can enjoy that maybe this week.

i will try to enjoy something also.

sorry i'm such a bummer.

blackjack, and other people you can't trust

on the blackjack day of may, eddie discusses what it means to pay for sushi, i discuss how i did it to myself, and then he goes and parties while some guy puts it in me.

super-rad!




been text messaging with michelle these past couple of days and it's torture, but strangely nice, and totally confusing.

love is easy.

next episode of may - the end, which isn't really the end because there's an epilogue and an educational segment, both sort of bonus features, so it is the end. how 'bout that. it has golf and talk and a retrospective and a killer hilarious song from gold chains driving the whole situation.
the golf course we play on here is now nothing but scorched earth.

does quitting smoking alleviate depression?

i'm going to try it.

any other suggestions will be accepted.

i'm a wreck.

somebody come and take me on an adventure.