i am remote controlled by courtney cox
the price: 45 an hour.
i get paid that much.
she presses play on a prop remote control, and i make a dvd play on the tv.
she presses pause, and i pause it.
i am good at this.
so my job today was to play a dvd. like, to press play. i do that at home all the time!
when the director says, "i need more porno," he's talking to me. a new cue. amazing.
i have found the perfect gig.
SECOND PERFECT GIG:
offered to me today. 23 days. los angeles to new york to london to azerbaijan to london to uganda to dubai to thailand to los angeles. we wrap in thailand, where i will stay on for a week of tranny hookers. and by the way, if you hadn't noticed, i am going around the world very literally.
apparently i've done something right at some point. if not, shit's going to fall apart for me at some point. dramatically. dangerously. possibly, uh, explosions will be involved. probably though, i've done something right at some point. don't know what it is...
uh... no. i got nothing.
4 continents in 3 weeks.
the production pays for my yellow fever vaccination.
this is my second chance to go to africa in the past 9 months and i will not walk away from it. asia and eastern europe/right-next-to-iran are also involved to aid in my process of not even considering saying no for a second. and when their money offer is 150% of what i'd decided was the absolute cheapest i'd do it for, well, that really clinched it.
AMAZING LIFE KEEP ON LIVING!
hopefully my friend luke will be along for the ride, but really though, i don't care.
we leave in 3 1/2 weeks, so i should get my vaccinations etc. in about two weeks ago. perfect! let's go!
the deal is, a week ago i was pretty sure i was gonna go broke or get a job at a restaurant or something. and now all this. and i'm working again tomorrow and thursday, probably pressing play or something, and then, dude, a haircut and a wedding and a round the world. it always happens. gonna go broke, then, magically appearing in my phonepiece - justin wilkes, my hero, with another job worthy of someone of my caliber. or really though, probably someone way harder than me. i mean, have you felt these soft hands i keep harping on?
never worked a day in his life.
come on, tell me i don't deserve it.
i will agree.
then i will shrug.
and smile.
and then bring, to those who deserve them, wonderful gifts from around the world.
did i mention that i envision all of my travels to be by private jet?
did i?
might not heppen, but still... bangkok to baku? baku to kampala? i don't believe they have direct flights.
did i even say what the job was?
(beware: redemption)
a series of short docs and PSAs about a united nations program that supplies athletic equipment to those in refugee camps.
did that redeem me?
no?
go ahead, tell me what i really deserve.
i get paid that much.
she presses play on a prop remote control, and i make a dvd play on the tv.
she presses pause, and i pause it.
i am good at this.
so my job today was to play a dvd. like, to press play. i do that at home all the time!
when the director says, "i need more porno," he's talking to me. a new cue. amazing.
i have found the perfect gig.
SECOND PERFECT GIG:
offered to me today. 23 days. los angeles to new york to london to azerbaijan to london to uganda to dubai to thailand to los angeles. we wrap in thailand, where i will stay on for a week of tranny hookers. and by the way, if you hadn't noticed, i am going around the world very literally.
apparently i've done something right at some point. if not, shit's going to fall apart for me at some point. dramatically. dangerously. possibly, uh, explosions will be involved. probably though, i've done something right at some point. don't know what it is...
uh... no. i got nothing.
4 continents in 3 weeks.
the production pays for my yellow fever vaccination.
this is my second chance to go to africa in the past 9 months and i will not walk away from it. asia and eastern europe/right-next-to-iran are also involved to aid in my process of not even considering saying no for a second. and when their money offer is 150% of what i'd decided was the absolute cheapest i'd do it for, well, that really clinched it.
AMAZING LIFE KEEP ON LIVING!
hopefully my friend luke will be along for the ride, but really though, i don't care.
we leave in 3 1/2 weeks, so i should get my vaccinations etc. in about two weeks ago. perfect! let's go!
the deal is, a week ago i was pretty sure i was gonna go broke or get a job at a restaurant or something. and now all this. and i'm working again tomorrow and thursday, probably pressing play or something, and then, dude, a haircut and a wedding and a round the world. it always happens. gonna go broke, then, magically appearing in my phonepiece - justin wilkes, my hero, with another job worthy of someone of my caliber. or really though, probably someone way harder than me. i mean, have you felt these soft hands i keep harping on?
never worked a day in his life.
come on, tell me i don't deserve it.
i will agree.
then i will shrug.
and smile.
and then bring, to those who deserve them, wonderful gifts from around the world.
did i mention that i envision all of my travels to be by private jet?
did i?
might not heppen, but still... bangkok to baku? baku to kampala? i don't believe they have direct flights.
did i even say what the job was?
(beware: redemption)
a series of short docs and PSAs about a united nations program that supplies athletic equipment to those in refugee camps.
did that redeem me?
no?
go ahead, tell me what i really deserve.

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