a report from the field (desert): fuck a couple things
fuck america. too big.
i am in tuscon. i drove 875 miles today.
fuck that.
yesterday i watched television.
the day before that was saturday, and i drove 430 miles, from baton rouge to austin. then that night i went austin-party-time with manny, who lives there and watched me get kicked off a riverboat casino in baton rouge back in october when we were shooting the swank movie. austin was the same as usual. before i got there, it took me 3 hours to travel five miles because the freeway was shut down due to some sort of catastrophe, and then there was an accident on the detour, forcing it down to one lane. the accident consisted of a tahoe or something veering off the road and down an embankment onto some swamp person's front yard. the swamp person and swamp family set up their lawn chairs and had an impromptu picnic around the wrecked car.
why?
also, fuck detours. and swamp people.
now even before that, other things happened, but nobody cares. fuck you.
HOTEL REVIEW: sheraton tuscon inn & suites
fuck starwood. i'm over them completely now. i need to find another parent company to patronize. they have that "sweet sleeper bed" service promise shit and i guess it's good that they have that because the bed is all they can consistently get right.
last time, i shower to find that i've been given not one towel. now the internet in this one isn't working and so i call the desk and they say they'll have someone right up to fix it and then call back instead to let me know that the internet doesn't work in my room. move across the hall. half-hour on the phone with their customer service and just like that - internet!
all for the paltry sum of too much money for shit like that.
sure, they get points for the bed, but they lose points for everything else, like being twenty minutes off the freeway and giving me directions like, "exit at kolb, and that turns into grant and we're on the right, just after beverly." no mention of the 15 miles of driving or anything. no bar.
not even waiting till the morning for this one, i'm just too damn passionate about it right now:
plus stuff
minus stuff
TOTAL: -TWO HUNDRED TWELVE POINTS
i hate seraton(s).
love the beds.
ok.
TOTAL: -TWO POINTS
pretty pretty pretty good.
just not good enough.
seriously, fuck starwood.
tomorrow i will be at my new home. i need to buy sheets for my enormous new bed. since i won't have them tomorrow night, i will covet the sheraton. fuck that.
wish me luck about how maybe this time my roommate won't end up in jail.
signing off with a list of amazing real signs i see:
SUN SALSA AND SOLDIERS Welcome to El Paso
BYOB NAKED HAREM Exit 24
Drive Friendly - The Texas Way
DIRT FOR SALE
and that thing about self-propelled machinery being prohibited on the freeway. what the fuck is "self-propelled machinery?" and whatever it is, fuck it.
-hollywood josh cole
i am in tuscon. i drove 875 miles today.
fuck that.
yesterday i watched television.
the day before that was saturday, and i drove 430 miles, from baton rouge to austin. then that night i went austin-party-time with manny, who lives there and watched me get kicked off a riverboat casino in baton rouge back in october when we were shooting the swank movie. austin was the same as usual. before i got there, it took me 3 hours to travel five miles because the freeway was shut down due to some sort of catastrophe, and then there was an accident on the detour, forcing it down to one lane. the accident consisted of a tahoe or something veering off the road and down an embankment onto some swamp person's front yard. the swamp person and swamp family set up their lawn chairs and had an impromptu picnic around the wrecked car.
why?
also, fuck detours. and swamp people.
now even before that, other things happened, but nobody cares. fuck you.
HOTEL REVIEW: sheraton tuscon inn & suites
fuck starwood. i'm over them completely now. i need to find another parent company to patronize. they have that "sweet sleeper bed" service promise shit and i guess it's good that they have that because the bed is all they can consistently get right.
last time, i shower to find that i've been given not one towel. now the internet in this one isn't working and so i call the desk and they say they'll have someone right up to fix it and then call back instead to let me know that the internet doesn't work in my room. move across the hall. half-hour on the phone with their customer service and just like that - internet!
all for the paltry sum of too much money for shit like that.
sure, they get points for the bed, but they lose points for everything else, like being twenty minutes off the freeway and giving me directions like, "exit at kolb, and that turns into grant and we're on the right, just after beverly." no mention of the 15 miles of driving or anything. no bar.
not even waiting till the morning for this one, i'm just too damn passionate about it right now:
plus stuff
minus stuff
TOTAL: -TWO HUNDRED TWELVE POINTS
i hate seraton(s).
love the beds.
ok.
TOTAL: -TWO POINTS
pretty pretty pretty good.
just not good enough.
seriously, fuck starwood.
tomorrow i will be at my new home. i need to buy sheets for my enormous new bed. since i won't have them tomorrow night, i will covet the sheraton. fuck that.
wish me luck about how maybe this time my roommate won't end up in jail.
signing off with a list of amazing real signs i see:
SUN SALSA AND SOLDIERS Welcome to El Paso
BYOB NAKED HAREM Exit 24
Drive Friendly - The Texas Way
DIRT FOR SALE
and that thing about self-propelled machinery being prohibited on the freeway. what the fuck is "self-propelled machinery?" and whatever it is, fuck it.
-hollywood josh cole
posted by josh at 11:01 PM
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